The Everyone’s-a-Winner Quiz

Tired of doing badly in quizzes? Get the feeling whoever compiles them is out to get you? Fed up with people seeming cleverer?

You know the feeling. You do some preparation, brush up on current affairs and then some wacky quizmaster slips in a section where you have to identify five flavours of crisps. You get beaten by people well below your intellectual level, but who know their smoky bacon from their prawn cocktail.

Then see if you can get these right:

  1. Where is the Central African Republic?
  2. How many countries contest the Six Nations rugby tournament?
  3. Who created the Nobel Prizes (surname only)?
  4. What is the first language of people from France?
  5. How many beans make five?
  6. Which Henry founded the Ford Motor Company?
  7. Which is darker: light brown or dark grey?
  8. What starts at daybreak?
  9. From what fruit does the colour orange take its name (or vice versa)?
  10. What is the most hits any one-hit wonder has ever had?

Check your answers (but do the quiz first. We’ll put in a few carriage returns so you can’t see without scrolling down)






  1. Central Africa 2. Six. 3. Nobel. 4. French*. 5. Five. 6. Henry Ford. 7. Dark Green. 8. Daytime. 9. The orange. 10. One

If you got all 10 correct: what do you want? A medal?

Nine correct: you’re a moron

Eight correct: you shouldn’t have had that last bottle of vodka

Seven correct: you’re kidding, aren’t you? Very funny.

Six correct: you brought this on yourself because you’re a bad person.

Five correct: you could have done better but you’re afraid of success.

Less than five correct: just stop it, okay?

*The author does not wish to offend any French people who, for whatever reason, do not speak French as their first language. In this day and age, obviously it is wrong to make assumptions.


10 reasons why 10 is the most you usually get with these masterpieces

You know the kind of thing: 10 celebrities who were not well known before they became famous, 10 actors who can make their own pasta etc. etc.

head scratch
I think, therefore I am, I think…

These are some of the reasons they normally come in packs of 10.

  1. People on the net are too busy to read for more than a couple of minutes at a time. There’s other mindless stuff to look at.
  2. Concentration is a dirty word. All words ending in ation are dirty
  3. If you take your eyes off the porn for too long, someone else will grab it, stuff it down their jeans and run away.

    trivia pic
    715? I think I’d better read this lying down
  4. The ‘writers’ want to get it finished so they can head over to redtube because there’s something they want to stuff down their jeans and run away with.

    10 films in which Johnny Depp plays a pirate; hmm, better put this one on hold
  5. Most people can only count up to 10. Apart from Carol Vorderman, who can do it in her head.
  6. Nobody cares about the subjects anyway – not you, not your airhead mates and certainly not the ‘writers’.

    head scratch 2
    Now, who would not mind being insulted? No, I’m too nice for this game.
  7. Actually, somebody does care: the people who are being ridiculed (if any).
  8. And their Mum.
  9. And their best friend.
  10. Err… Think, man! Think!